Discover the Next Step in Your Journey: Take the Quiz!
Discover the Next Step in Your Journey: Take the Quiz!
Sarah, an accountant, noticed that every idea she shared in team meetings was later presented by her coworker as their own. By identifying this pattern early, she was able to set boundaries and protect her contributions.
Melissa Rymer is a certified recovery coach, author, and survivor of narcissistic abuse who founded the Victim to Warrior to help others heal, rebuild, and reclaim their lives. Drawing from her own experience surviving a painful narcissistic relationship and rebuilding after trauma, Melissa creates compassionate, practical resources focused on narcissistic abuse recovery, emotional healing, divorce recovery, and personal transformation.
Last week, my friend Sarah called me during lunch. She sounded frustrated and exhausted. She said, “I can’t stand my manager anymore. Every time I do something, he takes credit or criticizes me in front of everyone. I feel invisible and drained.”
I could just imagine what she meant by dealing with a narcissist at work. Everything may appear to be fine at first. Your boss or colleague is sure, charismatic, and ambitious. They can even appear to be helpful or supportive.
But gradually something is different. They begin to steal your ideas. They reject your proposals. They twist things to make them appear better. And in no time, you have no energy or motivation.
So in this blog, we’ll discuss how to deal with a narcissist at work, including tips for working with a narcissist work colleague, handling a narcissist boss, and protecting yourself in a workplace narcissist environment.
John, an IT specialist, noticed his ideas were repeatedly dismissed in team meetings, only for his manager to present them as his own. Recognizing these patterns early helped him implement protective strategies.
Working with a narcissistic colleague can be both exhausting and confusing. At first, they may seem charming, confident, and even helpful. But over time, their true behaviors emerge: taking credit for others’ work, dismissing ideas, subtly manipulating situations, and constantly seeking praise or attention.
A narcissistic colleague thrives on control and recognition. Their actions often leave you feeling drained, frustrated, or even invisible. Understanding the traits of a narcissistic coworker is the first step in protecting your work, maintaining your mental health, and navigating the workplace with confidence.
According to recent studies, 6% of employees report having a narcissistic boss, and over 25% experience narcissistic behavior from coworkers that affects productivity.
It is sometimes hard to spot a narcissistic colleague or a narcissist at the workplace. In many cases, their actions are not obvious in the beginning.
You might notice:
They love attention and control; therefore, even little things will leave you anxious or demotivated. This is why it is better to identify a narcissist in the workplace at the earliest stage, because in this way, you will also be ready and able to react without the feeling of being disheartened.
These patterns can be subtle at first but become more damaging over time. In our Warrior Talk! In the episode “Why We Miss Narcissistic Abusers (Even When They Hurt Us)”, we break down why these dynamics can feel confusing even when you know something isn’t right.
Withdrawing or seeking approval may add to the mess when you are dealing with a narcissist. Narcissists thrive on your responses and reactions.
To protect yourself:
Besides protecting your work, these steps will ensure that there is limited room in which a narcissist work colleague or a narcissist boss can claim credit or manipulate situations.
If you feel like you’re constantly walking on eggshells or second-guessing yourself, you’re not alone. In The Half-Safe Relationship, we explain how environments that feel “almost professional” but lack emotional safety can slowly drain your confidence and clarity.
A narcissist at work thrives on emotional reactions. When you are upset, defensive, or frustrated, you give them the power they desire. But calmness is a power that you will deprive.
An example would be when your boss, a narcissist, is critical of your performance during a meeting, then you can respond: “Thank you, I am glad you have provided me with feedback. I will make changes accordingly,” and proceed.
With such repetitions, your narcissistic coworker or narcissist in the workplace will no longer have control over your emotions, and you will start feeling more in control.
Narcissists do not want to share friends at the workplace, and so, it is necessary to make friends. Share your experience and talk to the colleagues that you trust without gossiping. Guiding can be done by mentors or helpful managers.
In addition, having an out-of-work network is beneficial. You know you are not seeing things when you talk about problems with a person who knows what you are talking about. That makes it harder for a workplace narcissist to manipulate you.
Staying calm isn’t about weakness; it’s a strategy. In our episode “When a Narcissist Loses Control… These 4 Signs Get Scary Fast”, we explain how narcissists react when they stop getting emotional responses and why this shift gives you back control.
There is an easy way of being drawn to drama, but your career should be the first. Maintaining your focus on expansion and success is what keeps you out of the games of a narcissist at work.
The influence of manipulations of a narcissist coworker or a narcissist boss is not as strong since you concentrate on your progress. Their games are no more than your work speaks.
One of the most difficult things in the workplace may be the narcissistic boss. They also manage circumstances to portray themselves positively and may make you feel that nothing you do is satisfactory. Owing to their attention-seeking and power-seeking needs, a narcissist at work will often end up claiming your success or undermining your thoughts.
The trick is that one should remain on business and write everything down. Record emails and meeting notes; in this way, you keep a record of your contribution. In addition, be calm in response rather than emotional. By doing this regularly, the effect of your narcissistic boss’s traits will no longer be felt, and you will be able to go on with your job without feeling exhausted.
Also, do not share too much about yourself. Personal knowledge can be used as leverage by narcissistic managers. Being focused on work and results, you prevent the possibilities of manipulations and preserve your independence.
It is a real strain being around a narcissist coworker or even boss. The fact that one is anxious, frustrated, or exhausted after having encountered the same person repeatedly is normal. As such, self-defence is as vital as dealing with the working relationship.
Take rest when necessary, use stress-relieving methods, and consult supportive colleagues or mentors. Even the little recognition of your emotions in non-working life can be a great change at times. You should keep in mind that you do not have to compromise your well-being just because you are working with a narcissist.
It assists in establishing boundaries, also. Avoid unnecessary use of emotional labor or work that is not part of your job in a polite manner. This will eventually build confidence and decrease narcissism and work strain. The best thing is to prioritize your mental health so that you can easily manage a narcissist in a workplace setting without losing yourself.
Want to transform from feeling drained to empowered at work? Learn how the Victim to Warrior Method can help you thrive even under workplace narcissists.
Long-term exposure to narcissistic behavior doesn’t just affect your work; it can impact your mental and physical health. In our episode “How Narcissistic Abuse Slowly Destroys Your Health & Peace”, we explain how chronic stress from these environments builds over time and why protecting your peace is essential.
It is tiresome to have to handle a narcissist at work. They destroy your trust, take credit, and cause you to doubt yourself.
Nevertheless, you can overcome the situation by observing patterns, securing your work, managing your responses, developing support, and prioritizing your development.
You do not have to transform the narcissistic work colleague or boss. All you have to do is keep professional and safe. That is the survival and even thriving in a narcissistic workplace.
If you’re ready to move from feeling drained to feeling in control, Victim to Warrior: The Ultimate Guide for Narcissistic Abuse Recovery, 2nd Edition, walks you through practical steps to rebuild confidence, set boundaries, and regain your power both personally and professionally.
Look for patterns like taking credit for others’ work, constant need for praise, dismissing ideas, and subtle manipulations.
Document your work, respond calmly, maintain boundaries, and build support networks within and outside the workplace.
Yes. Protect your work, manage emotional reactions, set boundaries, and build support in your workplace.
Confrontation rarely works. Professional documentation, calm responses, and setting clear limits are more effective.
Taking credit, seeking constant praise, dismissing feedback, manipulating staff, and creating competition.
You should keep records of your work and conversations with them, respond calmly, set boundaries, build good rapport with other colleagues, and focus on your growth.
Prioritize self-care, seek mentorship or supportive colleagues, take breaks, and use stress-relief techniques.
If your mental health or career growth is being severely affected despite professional measures, consider HR intervention or a job change.
